如果一直对孩子说“Yes”效果会怎样?

Like most children, my own brood complains constantly about my style of parenting. "You’re always saying 'No'," they complain, as I tell them they can’t have yet more mayonnaise on their dinner.像大多数孩子们一样，我自己的孩子也一直抱怨我对他们的养育方式。晚饭时当我告诉他们不能再吃蛋黄酱的时侯，他们抱怨说"你总是说'不'。""It’s bad for you," I say. "So, no, you can’t."我说:"再吃对你们的健康不好，不，你们不能再吃了。""You say no to everything,"says Leonard, aged eight.八岁的Leonard说："你对任何事情都说不。"He and his younger siblings — Jerry, six, and Ottoline, three — then list everything I have said ‘No’ to since they got home from school. Sweets, playing outside with their uniform on, biscuits, getting stuff out from drawer, painting …他和弟弟妹妹们——6岁的Jerry和3岁的Ottoline列了一张清单，上面写着他们从学校回家后我说的所有的"不"。糖果、在外面穿着校服玩、饼干、从抽屉里拿东西、画画……I’ve always considered myself a pretty easy-going parent, and yet here they are telling me I’m a nay-saying harridan.我一直认为我是一个脾气很好的妈妈，但是他们竟然说我是一个总说"不"的老巫婆。According to the currently fashionable idea of ‘free parenting’, though, what I should be saying is ‘Yes’.然而根据最近流行的"亲子养育"观点，我应该说"是"。It’s particularly interesting to me because I recently decided to try an experiment. In the style of ‘free parenting’, I would say yes to everything my children wanted for an entire week — and see what happened.因为最近我想做一个实验，所以这就对我来说特别有趣。根据"亲子养育"的方式，在整整一个星期内，我要对我的孩子的要求通通说"是"，然后看看效果如何。The only rules were not to let the children know what I’d decided to do, and to ensure that I alerted them to the consequences of their actions, so they could make their own well-informed choices.唯一的规则是不让孩子知道我在做什么，并且确保已经对他们的行为做出了提醒，然后让他们做出自己的选择。But what if they wanted to swing on the curtains and to paint the walls red? What if my teenage son, 14-year-old Raymond, wanted to bring girls home every night and smoke? What would I say then?但是如果他们想要在窗帘上"荡秋千"，或者想要把墙全涂成红色呢？倘若我14岁的儿子Raymond晚上想要带女孩子们回家或者吸烟呢？那么我该说什么呢？There was only one way to find out …只有一种方法可以知道……

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